"Don't get between a Mama Bear and her Cub!"
Last Friday I got a phone call from Carsten saying that he had fallen at recess and wanted me to bring him a change of clothes because his were all wet. I told him that I was in the middle of something but I would come as soon as I could. When I arrived at the school I realized that the "Early Birds" were just about to get out of school and Carsten is an early bird! I thought, "Oh my gosh! What a waste of my time! Carsten can just come home on the bus and get changed!" Then I thought, "Well I'm here! I'll just run in, have him change, and then take him home." So I ran to his classroom with a change of clothes in hand.
I opened his classroom door apologizing for my interruption. His teacher looked at me, giving me "The Look", she motioned her pointer finger for me to COME HERE and then pulled out a little chair for me to sit down. As I walked to her I said, "Well this can't be good!"
So let me give you a little background before I go too far... My little Carsten has ADHD. His teacher has taught Ethan and Bradon in previous years. She knows me well! Our relationship hasn't always been lovely but it has blossomed. In fact when Ethan had her I didn't like her at all! When Bradon got her I went to the principal to talk to him about getting Bradon switched out of her class. We decided that Ethan and Bradon were very different and that maybe, Bradon would have a good year with her. And it turned out to be a fantastic year! She helped me to realize that Bradon was attention deficit which was a life changing discovery for our entire family. She took Bradon under her wing, took him from being her lowest reader to the top! I was pleasantly surprised! And I had a new found faith in second chances. So this year Carsten wanted her as a teacher. Both of his older brothers had her and now it was going to be his turn! And so we requested her!
Early in the year Carsten's teacher expressed her concern about Carsten's behavior. She assured me that she loves him but expressed to me how she had 5 or 6 kids in the class that were extremely active making her job hard. I let her know early on that I was on her side and that I would do anything I could to make sure Carsten wasn't a problem for her. In fact I told her and Carsten both that if Carsten was a continued problem, I would be going to the principal and asking him what class would be better suited for Carsten and I would switch him right out of her class! She protested that idea and assured me that she loves Carsten and wouldn't want for him to be taken from her class. Carsten also protested. I told the both of them, "Then Carsten had better figure out how to be good and not cause any trouble." We switched Carsten from being a "Later Gator" to an "Early Bird" to ease her burden of having so many ACTIVE kids as later gators in her class. Which means that every morning I drive to the school twice. Once to take Carsten and then an hour an fifteen minutes later to take Bradon and Reagan. And I have been okay with this because I am on her side! Whatever it takes! I said so myself! Not to mention it has turned out to be helpful separating my two attention deficit children during the morning "get ready process."
Everything has seemed peachy keen! No complains from Carsten, and no complaints from his teacher! Up until I showed up on Friday unannounced and got the pointer finger motioning me to SIT, I thought everything was okay!
I took a seat and then the unthinkable began!
A conversation took place that was absolutely mind boggling, disturbing, WRONG on so many levels! I kept my cool trying to calm the situation. I tried to be reasonable and rational. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt! And then I realized that she wasn't okay! She wasn't thinking straight! She had absolutely lost her mind!
She told me that Carsten's medication had quit working. She told me that she wanted me to bring his medication to the school so that she could distribute them to him personally. She said that that way if his meds weren't working she could "take a handful of them and cram them down his throat!" {Are you kidding me?} She told me that she has told Carsten that if his behavior continued "she was going to KILL HIM and send him home in a coffin!" SHE SERIOUSLY TOLD ME THIS! {If she thinks this is a cute way to joke around about this... I don't think this is funny!} At one point as the class {whom was still in the classroom during this sweet little conversation and if sitting close enough could listen to every word} got too loud... they were getting up and down moving about the classroom as they saw fit... She stood up and yelled at the class, "SIT DOWN! If you don't sit down right now I'm going to slap you so hard that your great great grand kids will be born with dizzy heads!" followed up with a "But I love you!" sang in a sweet voice. I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS! I assured the teacher that I would take care of Carsten, I would make an appointment with the pediatrician making sure his meds are right for him. I promised her that I would personally make sure that his medication was swallowed each day, I being a witness to it! During this conversation she told me that she has had to call 5 sets of parents just that week because the kids in the class were so naughty. And just as I saw that this conversation wasn't going anywhere nor did it have any chance of going anywhere she began to CACKLE like a witch. She repeated herself over and over, "His meds wear off before he even gets to school!" "His meds aren't working!" As she cackled louder and louder. She covered her mouth with her hand and then uncovered her mouth just long enough to say, "I feel sorry for you!" as she began to cackle again! To tell you the truth at this point I was seriously disturbed! I had fear in my heart! I knew that this lady had been pushed over the edge and it wasn't necessarily all of Carsten's fault. I stood up, walked backwards to the door motioning Carsten to grab his backpack and to follow me. We left the room and all the while she continued to CACKLE!
I walked straight to my friend Shari's classroom and quietly told her that Carsten's teacher had LOST IT! The bell rang and the chaos of the early birds leaving began. I went to my car to head home. The school Principal was standing outside waving to all the parents as they drove by. I pulled my car right up to the curb he was standing on, I rolled down my window and said, "I have something I need to talk to you about! I am going to drive home right now and then I am going to call you! It's about something that just happened!" With a look of surprise on his face he said, "Okay! I'll be going back to my office in just a few minutes. I'll be waiting!"
I drove home trying to gather my thoughts together, trying to hold back tears until I couldn't hold them back anymore. I got things situated at home so that I could have a quiet environment for this conversation with the Principal to take place. I went into our spare bedroom and dialed the phone. The Principal was waiting for my call just as he had promised. I gave him a quick background letting him know all that had been done leading up to this day and then gave him a play by play of everything that had just took place, everything that had been said. I let him know that I knew that she was a good teacher but she had more on her plate than she could handle. I told him that whatever discipline strategy she was using wasn't working! She has totally lost it! I told him about my threat earlier in the year and told him that I wasn't going to let my child be the one to throw her over the edge. It was time for Carsten to switch classes. It's time for him to suffer the consequence for making his teachers life/job hard.
The Principal was very nice! We had a nice conversation and he told me that not only was he going to move Carsten but he was going to talk with the teacher, find out who the other 5 kids were and possibly move them too. He said he would do whatever it took to make her class more manageable for her. As for what he is going to do to disipline the teacher... I have no idea! I don't even know if he will do anything about it. I would hope so, but I guess it's really none of my business. I've taken care of my end of the situation and it's his job to take care of his.
OH MY GOSH! I am so happy that I made that threat! I don't think that this is all of Carsten's fault but I do think he was a contributing factor. I do think his teacher is a little bit crazy and I don't want him to be subjected to her craziness! I am so glad that I was able to blame my demands of a teacher change on me and my need to follow through as a parent. And I DO think it was time for me to follow through! There are no hard feelings between his teacher and myself. And I am thrilled with the new teacher the Principal selected for Carsten.
On the morning of Carsten's first day in his new class Carsten and I met with his new teacher out in the hall. His new teacher couldn't have been sweeter about the whole situation. Carsten stood there with his head hung down. I have no idea what he was thinking. My heart broke for him and this entire situation! It was one big dose of tough love. And I'll tell you it WAS TOUGH! And I hope that Carsten realizes that I did it because I love him! He's got to know that enough is enough! And really and truly, he deserves the best! And he deserves someone who will help bring out his best! Carsten is a GOOD kid! Yes he thinks he's funny and yes he feeds off some of the other boys in the class and yes he's not perfect, BUT HE'S A GOOD KID! After we talked for a bit Carsten's new teacher said, "So Carsten are you ready for this? Are you ready to meet your new classmates? Come on, let's do this!" Carsten walked beside his new teacher with his head STILL hung down. As I walked away I couldn't help but to cry! It seriously broke my heart!
As I told my friend Shari about what had happened she said, "Everyone knows not to get between a Mama bear and her Cub. Stephanie, She got between you and your Cub! She threatened your Cub!"
Oh how true this is! It's amazing how those Mama bear instincts kick in! And now that it's all said and done and I can joke about it. I would like to say, "I hope that everyone down at that school got my message loud and clear! Don't mess with MRS. ADAIR or any of her precious Cubs! And Carsten.... When I say straighten up or I'll pull you, I'm serious! You had better listen to your Mama! And I'm the Mama Bear!"
